Overheard in the Work Truck: Control Room Edition

So I’ve been hanging out in plant control rooms rather than work trucks lately and while there’s not as much racism and sexism, there’s still some real winners here. It’s mazing what dudes will say when they think there are only other guys in the room.

Find part one here and part two here.

Dude 1: “Why don’t you get the fuck out my way?”

Dude 2: “Why don’t you suck my giant…(remembers I’m in the room)…popsicle?” – He was very impressed with himself on the recovery.

“You look like you got dick-slapped in the-oh my god I’m so sorry, I’m really sorry I said that.” – Guys forget I’m in the room and suddenly remember they shouldn’t talk about dicks…they talk about dicks a lot.

“Yeah, buddy said ‘oh I miss [this plant],’ and I said ‘[this plant] doesn’t miss you.'” – These guys can be such catty bitches.

“He’s like HIV… really positive.” – Wow, really guys?

“Only two things come from [other dude’s hometown]: queers and steers, and he don’t got no horns.” – Surprised it took this long for someone to say something like this.

So yeah, not nearly as awful as the truck, but still not great.

-A.

One List to Rule Them All

I’ve been meaning to do this for the last three years, but never got around to it… I wanted to write little reviews of what my book club reads.

I had an ongoing thread on Twitter for a few comments and the general consensus of the club, but I always had more to say that I can’t always get across on that platform.

Well, I’m gonna finally do it this year… presenting the Sci-Fi/Fantasy Book Club The Needs A Name selections for the coming year…One List to Rule Them All, Year 4!

August: Storm Front by Jim Butcher

September: Neverwhere by Neil Gaiman

October: Space Opera by Catherynne M. Valente

November: Mort(e) by Robert Repino

December: All Systems Red by Martha Wells

January: The Lies of Locke Lamora by Scott Lynch

February: The Woodcutter by Lorn Wolf

March: Binti by Nnedi Okorafor

April: The Book of Lost Things by John Connolly

May: The Alehouse at the End of the World by Stevan Allred

June: Magic for Liars by Sarah Gailey

I will write what the club thought, what I thought, and whether or not we finished it. Not finishing the book will lead to our favourite GIF, Septa Unella!

Hopefully she doesn’t make too many appearances…

Read along with us if you’re of a mind, and share your thoughts in the comments.

-A.

Overheard In The Work Truck, Part II

So I wasn’t working with a crew for a while there, I was on my own in my medic truck and didn’t have much for a full post.

But I’m back in that work truck for a few days, so we definitely have enough bullshit for a new Overheard post!

Please enjoy the raging ignorance of my coworkers!

Find the original post here.

“Apparently Fidel Castro’s brother is claiming Justin Trudeau is Fidel’s son … (Margaret Trudeau) was a rabid slut.” – this guy just hates women, I don’t understand it.

“What’s wrong with cilantro? Cilantro is ISIS. And I say fuck ISIS.” – we were talking about cilantro being gross (it is, fight me) and this was his response. I actually don’t get the point he was making.

“If you were getting married and your husband-to-be was away for work and getting back a couple weeks before the wedding, would you wait for coitus?” – I can’t fucking believe he actually used the word ‘coitus.’ Barf.

“It’s called being cuckolded you fucking loser.” In response to reading a dude’s Twitter profile saying he was a bisexual in a polyamorous relationship with his wife and her boyfriend. I told him cuckolding is an actual kink that some people are into and he shouldn’t judge. He shut up for a while.

“My husband was pissing me off, so when he rolled over I bit him in the ass.” – I just thought this one was funny.

Won’t be back with a crew for a few weeks, but when I am I’ll be sure to document!

-A.

Overheard In The Work Truck

I work with some… let’s say, differently minded individuals. Hese are people whose views and values don’t match up with mine, but I’m only aware of that because I spend 10+ hours a day in a truck with them. Like they say things that make me want to never associate with then ever again, but I have to because I work with them.

That said, here’s some of the things I’ve heard this week. Let it be known that I don’t agree with any of the things said here. In no particular order, and paraphrased where the exchange was too long to remember word-for-word.

“Forest fires are economic terrorism. People are hired to start fires so the government can spend millions and millions of dollars fighting them.” – I told him he was so completely wrong that he actually shut up for a few minutes.

“I used to watch (that show), but then it went all SJW and now it’s unwatchable.” – I heard this and now I’m waiting for the perfect time to let him know I’d be considered an SJW.

“I’ll never read or watch Harry Potter because it’s witchcraft and I’m a Christian, so it goes against everything I believe.”

This was followed a few hours later by:

“Muslims can just fuck off and die.”

And

“Someone should murder Justin Trudeau.”

I’m pretty sure neither of those statements makes you a Christian. Love thy neighbor and thou shall not kill and all that jazz…

This is just a taste of some of the bullshit I have to listen to.

-A.

One Step Forward, 50 Million Steps back

With all the Handmaid’s Tale-esque bullshit going on in the states, and the way it’s creeping into Canadian politics, now feels like a good time to have a little rant about old white men trying to control women’s bodies.

As I type this, I’m laying on my couch and wincing each time a wave of cramping appens due to the new foreign object that now lives in my uterus.

I got an IUD today. It’s to replace my use of the pill, which I have been on for nearly 20 years. It’s primary use for me has always been to correct the hormone imbalance in my body caused by PCOS; protection from getting pregnant was always a side bonus.

I chose to have this procedure because it’s right decision for me…my body, my choice.

That goes double/triple/quadruple for anything else I want to do with it, and no dipshit dumbfuck politician gets any say in that, ever.

The fuckwits in the states literally have no idea how women’s bodies work...read this and see. Honestly, basic understanding of biology should be a prerequisite before putting bills like that forward.

It’s like these men think that women just get pregnant by magic, that the spunk they spill has nothing to do with it. Every last sperm has the potential to become a human life, so doesn’t that make masturbation murder? Shouldn’t guys go to prison for 99 years for jerking off like they say women will for having an abortion?

And while we’re on the topic, if a fetus has rights at six weeks, does that mean men are responsible for it at that point? Do they have to start paying child support? Maybe there needs to be a male DNA database so dudes can’t say it’s not their fetus…they’d have no choice but to take responsibility for their decisions and the consequences of their actions!

Of course that won’t happen, because these movements aren’t about protecting life… it’s about controlling women’s bodies

Who’s actually going to take care of these unwanted babies? If a woman doesn’t want to be pregnant and is forced to carry to term or face life in prison, what do these men think is going to happen? That the ol’ maternal instinct will just magically kick in and the women will become Stepford Moms? No, you’re going to have these babies wind up in the foster system, and will be the government’s problem, which is fitting since they’re the ones that made this happen.

If these assholes were actually pro-life, they’d care about all the kids in foster care, or the kids being held in cages at the border. They’d use their wealth to adopt a dozen kids and give them a better life, or donate to social programs to improve their lives.

But they don’t. And they never will. Because they’re not actually pro-life. They’re anti-women.

America is ass-deep in The Darkest Timeline, but Canada is sinking into that territory with Saskcatchewan MP Bradly Trost wanting to dive back into the abortion debate, and Ontario MP Sam Oosterhoff wanting to make abortion “unthinkable” in Canada.

Who the fuck do these guys think they are?! There are so many issues in this country and this is the fucking hill they want to die on?

Things are gonna be rough for a while, reading/listening to this garbage every day is going to be exhausting and terrifying. We have a federal election in October and that will be the time to shut this shit down.

Don’t give up hope. We will win this fight.

-A.

The heart of the matter

I have old lady knees. Also old lady eyes. I do old lady-type crafts and have old lady habits.

So it shouldn’t have come as much of a surprise that my heart isn’t all that spry.

I’ve been dragging my old lady ass to the doctor on and off for the last few years to refill prescriptions and get the occasional testing of the lady parts. They started monitoring my blood pressure as one time it read as a bit high, so they put a note in my file to check it whenever I came it.

With my doctor on mat leave, it fell to a nurse practioner and the walk-in doc to finally send me for an ECG and order me to start walking and cut out salt and drop some weight otherwise I’d be going on meds.

OK, fine. I started walking for 30 minutes five times a week, I reduced my salt intake, and since I was already working on losing weight to take the pressure off the aforementioned old lady knees, I just kept going with it.

I figured, I’ve done all the things a medical professional said I should do, it should go down right? Of course it will. I’m 36, this shouldn’t even be an issue.

Oh, except it is.

The ECG came back with a regular heart rhythm (yay) but a dialted left chamber (uh, what?).

See, only the bottom (diastolic) number was high, the top (systolic) number was usually within a normal range.

Again, uh, what?

How does that even work?

Apparently it’s not super common, and it has a big name (dialted cardiomyopathy), is more common in men, and can be caused by obesity, alcoholism, thyroid disease, diabetes, and doing an excessive amount of cocaine.

I really need to cut back on the *cocaine.

So since the doctor doesn’t know what is causing this condition for me, we’re playing the elimination game to try and find out.

I’m switching my birth control from the pill that has two hormones to an IUD that only has one. I’m taking off weight for both my knees and my heart now (down 15 pounds, yay me), I’m still going for walks and cutting back on the salt. I’ve also been put on water pills to try and lower my blood pressure in the meantime. Day one on those had me peeing every 45 minutes… I lost two pounds just from peeing.

I went for another ECG and blood work yesterday, have my IUD appointment next month, and will likely have a follow-up regarding the testing at some point.

Can I just say that this is kinda bullshit?

I’m 36, I’m not even at the mid-life crisis point of my existence…like what the actual fuck nonsense is this?!?

Anyway…

I’m gonna go back to my old lady crocheting because I’m pretty sure that’s one of the only things keeping me chill at this point.

To end this post on a high note, look at this super cute bunny stuffie I got myself for Easter instead of a chocolate bunny:

-A.

*This is totally a joke, I don’t do cocaine. Please don’t think I’m on cocaine.

Back at it

It’s been far too long since I wrote anything, and I’m clearly overdue for something resembling an update.

The last several months have been trying. I was diagnosed with osteoarthritis in both of my knees, which goes a long way in explaining why they have hurt so fucking much over the last couple years. It was going to happen eventually, what with both my mother and grandmother having it, but a lifetime of random knee injuries (thank you softball, cross country skiing, and roller derby) and my weight gain over the years meant it just happend a lot earlier than expected.

Since knee replacements only last about 10 years, and you can only do so many of them before you run out of leg bone, and I’m only 36, surgery is an absolute last resort. I’m going to physio when I’m actually in town (with exercises to do at home and out in the field) and I’m working on taking some weight off to take the pressure off the knee joints. I’d like to not hear that gross bone-on-bone grinding sound if at all possible.

I also have to start moving more. I stopped going to the gym because of the pain, but apparently I need to keep moving even though it hurts to do so… total catch-22 over here.

So that’s me health-wise. Not great, but working at doing better.

I’m marking my one-year anniversary with my new career as an oilfield medic, and it’s been a pretty great year if I’m being honest. Working with people that actually respect you and care about your wellbeing is weird, but also kinda nice? I actually got a mini-lecture from a coworker about not letting people know I was OK when I got back from the field on Monday, because they were worried when no one had heard from me.

I had a whopping TWO incidents on site, and both times the guy just needed a band-aid. So the rest of my time was spent devouring books, watching Netflix, and crocheting the shit out of everything.

I set a New Year’s goal for myself last year to master the Magic Ring for crochet. It took forever, but looking at the things I’ve made this year, I think I definitely succeeded. Take a look here to see my first attempt at amigurumi and here to see how far I’ve come over the year. I’m pretty impressed with myself.

I’ve even managed to sell a few things, so maybe that should be the goal for 2019? Get myself set up with a Facebook page, get a good supply of stock together and try to make some bank on this little hobby. Couldn’t hurt, right?

I’ve already started to turn the spare room into the offical Craft Room so I have a specific place to crochet and write, as I’m doing now. When I’m actualy at home, I intend to spend at least an hour in here doing something creative, whatever that may be.

So yeah, that’s it for now. I’m planning to get back into my weekly rants again, but we’ll see how that goes. Keep an eye out if you’re of a mind.

-A.